I Dream Of Britney

It's often been said that dreams are a reflection of the actions, emotions and experiences of everyday life as perceived by the subconscious mind during the REM stage of sleep. Studies have shown that the most common emotion experienced in dreams is anxiety. You know all the common variations- falling, teeth falling out, can't open your eyes, can't talk or yell, being chased and feeling like you're running in slow motion (see the first "Nightmare on Elm St" for further reference).

So along with the common falling, running, etc.. themes, I'd like to take a moment to add to this list. You see, it seems that Britney Spears has become part of my ever-rotating subconscious playlist of anxiety dreams. I shit you not, I actually had an anxiety dream last night starring Britney Spears. It ranks up there as one of the most ridiculous dreams I can ever remember having- mainly for the fact that for one, I could give a shit about Britney Spears in real life and also because it takes place in Times Square, a bus and a diner. If I haven't lost you yet, read on...or BRITNEY WILL FUCKING KILL YOU WITH HER UMBRELLA!!!!!!!!!!!


Here's how it went..

I was walking in Times Square when a limo pulled up across the street and I saw Britney Spears getting out of it. She was drunk and stumbling and I thought "oh shit I have to get a picture with her!". Apparantly nobody else but myself noticed her, so I quickly approached her, camera in hand, and said "hey can I get a picture with you?". She was all sloppy and obviously wasted and just said "yeah, walk with me". So I'm walking up the street with Britney Spears trying to take a picture, but my camera won't work. I keep pressing the wrong button, or it keeps turning off. As all this is going on, I'm becoming increasingly more agitated, knowing that she's not going to hang around forever waiting for me to take a perfect picture and that my window of opportunity is quickly closing. All the while, she's slumping on my shoulder half passed out. Suddenly, she jumps on one of those double decker NYC tourist buses. I jump on with her, still trying to get a picture of the two us. Then my camera falls under the seat and I can't find it. Then I'm holding somebody else's camera. Next, we're in some ghetto ass, grimy looking diner. I'm STILL trying to get a picture with Britney. Now she's gone from half passed out to crazy and strung out- jumping around the diner and running into the kitchen. The Mexican short order cooks have no idea what's going on as Britney bursts into the kitchen, yelling that she wants fries. I try my best to calm her down and she asks me if I want to make out. Before I get a chance to answer her, she runs over to the fryer and starts throwing frozen fries into the fryer.


"Can I get some fries NOW!"

Sadly, that's where the dream ended. By the end of the dream, my head was practically exploding because all I wanted was a picture. I'm not sure whether or not I even got it. I guess the dream made sense in the respect that I was at Beatstock all day yesterday taking pictures with people, so the fact that I had a dream about trying to take a picture with my digital camera made perfect sense. But as far as a drunk, out of control Britney Spears? I have no idea. Maybe I care more about her than my conscious mind realizes. Maybe deep down, I cry for her a little bit every day, and this was my subconscious way of telling me..

Hang in there Britney...