For Display Purposes Only

This is classic.

Friday night, I DJ'ed out in Philadelphia at Pure. It was a great time and the crowd was excellent. I played well, and I was pretty happy with my performance. Earlier in the night, we had noticed a large, 2-3 foot tall bottle of Vox Vodka in the hallway outside the DJ booth. At the end of the night, I jokingly asked Tre, the clubs' manager, if it was a gift for me. She nonchalantly told me to just take it. I did my whole "what?! no way! you're kidding me!!", to which she just told me that I could have it.

What to do with such an amazing gift. A three foot tall elliptical glass structure filled with a five time distilled expensive vodka. So many possibilities. So many drinks. I started planning a party in my head for the mere idea that the bottle could be the centerpiece for which the entire party would revolve around. A small shred of doubt told me that maybe this was too good to be true. Maybe there was no vodka in the bottle, but another clear liquid. Water? Rubbing alcohol? Nah- it HAD to be vodka.

Back at the hotel, we wasted no time opening up our treasure, like it was Christmas morning. Funny, it didn't smell a lot like vodka. In fact, it sort of smelled like Easter Egg dye. But no, it absolutely couldn't be anything other than 80 proof Vox vodka.

Then Jay decided to try some.

It was not vodka.

Luckily for Jay, he did not actually swallow any of it, as a closer inspection of the bottle revealed a rather large disclaimer that read: "THIS BOTTLE IS FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY. LIQUID CONTENTS NOT FOR CONSUMPTION".

Frank offered the idea that the liquid probably was, in fact, a sort of liquid blacklight that glows in the dark if put on display at a bar in a nightclub.

And that, my friends, is how smart we are.