Celebrity Lookalike Website 1, Self Esteem 0

The internet really is something else...

You can do anything on the internet. It's like the Wild West, except with "Diff'rent Strokes" reruns on YouTube and entire sites dedicated to women having sex with farm animals.

I recently came across a site that features an application that can be found on a lot of peoples' Myspace and Facebook pages. You upload a photo of yourself and it "analyzes" your facial features and tells you which celebrities you most closely resemble. I was bored, so I figured I'd give it a shot...

What I found was, well...



I found that I'm a cross between the guy who created "South Park" and Danny Tanner, with a little Donny Osmond, the bassist from Metallica and two old dudes thrown in for good measure.

Hide the razors. It gets better.

I figured I would try it with another picture, because surely there had to be some mistake.

Let's try it again with a different pic..


OK. This was marginally better. Jay Hernandez is fine, although that picture of him is pretty bad, so I guess the most positive thing I can say is that I look like Jay Hernandez at his worst. Great. I look like Jay Hernandez in the second half of "Hostel". I don't know who the fuck "M. Shadows" is. SIMON LEBON? Jesus Christ. I look like Simon Lebon in a picture from the 80's. Wonderful.

But the kicker here, my friends, is Charles Manson.

I look like Charles Manson.

In my next post, I'll talk more about my gang of acid tripping friends and how we like to cut fetuses out of innocent pregnant women.